kandis's blog

2007-07-15T18:11:00.000-06:00

it's sunday afternoon, and the weekend has went by WAY too fast, once again.
i really don't feel like getting up in the morning. i'd love to just stay in bed tomorrow. i mean, i like my job and everything - that has nothing to do with it. it's just the fact that i'd like another day to be lazy. who wouldn't, right?

chris is at tutoring and i'm bored and a little lonely. i'll be happy when he finishes school, but then again, so will he.

i'm watching bridezillas. these broads make me laugh ... especially the black ones. they just think they're bridezillas, but the truth is that they act that way all the time. so, they act all stupid and get to come on tv for it. not acceptable. ha.

anyways ... without the internet at work, i haven't checked myspace that often. i thought that i was going to be missing out on people leaving me comments and messages and junk. i know, that sounds kinda lame. truth is, i don't miss it. most of the girls on there that are supposed to be my friends can't even take the time to respond to a message or a phone call. so, when they call needing something or wanting something from me, i'm not going to be there either. i'm not being hateful ... just truthful. they would know who they are if they were reading this.

enough of that. i'm getting off of here. i have some work to do.

laters :)

feelin' lazy

2007-07-05T19:04:00.000-06:00

today is the 12th day that it has rained in a row. it wasn't bothering me, but today i'm pretty exhausted for some reason.
i wanted to upload a few pics and stuff to show what it looks like where i work, but i'm just too lazy to do it right now. maybe in a few days.
when i got off of work i came home and shaved my legs ... and put on some bronzer or whatever that stuff is called. thing is, this is my first time to use it. it's kinda stinky, but i guess i did a good job for it being my first time. (???) i put it all over except my face and my back. i can't reach my back because of my freakin boobs ... so i guess chris will have to help me with that tomorrow or something. the reason i say tomorrow is because he won't be home until around 11 tonight. bummer.
he's stressed with finals for summer school right now. he had a final today and is preparing for another tonight. sooo, needless to say, i'll be in nighterrrs land when he gets home tonight.

this weekend is our 1 year anniversary. :) yay. we're so cute.

i'm outty. even though it's only 8 o'clock, i'm going to turn on the tv and crawl in bed. i haven't had an early night of sleep in too long. nighters...

the first post in fort worth

2007-07-01T17:53:00.000-06:00

this week seems like it has been SO long! all in all though, it's been great.

i started my job at BNSF and although it's been boring so far (because i don't have much to do yet...and we don't have internet access), but i know things will pick up. we have in"tra"net, but not like Internet Explorer access. everyone is really nice which excites me! i was kinda scared that people may be more rude or mean because it's a "big city", but i was wrong!
the week was pretty busy because of having to get used to the new schedule and getting things situated. i was so excited that the weekend was here and now it's already over.

friday night i cooked chicken fettucini alfredo and chris picked up a bottle of wine on the way home from school. it was delicious and so relaxing after the long week!! then, last night chris and i spent some time with some friends and had an awesome dinner.

it has literally rained ALL week though. i'm starting to wonder if that's all it does up here. ha!
i'd have to say that the only downfall is that there isn't a chick-fil-a near my job. yep, that's it.
if that's all i have to worry about, i'm set. :)

i'm hopeful to be able to update again sometime this week, and maybe even add pictures. i can only update when chris is home with his computer because we don't have an internet connection to the house yet. we're working on that. his computer has an internal wireless card so that's how we're getting online now. anyway - gotta run :)

oh yea........but before i forget...... i've overcome my dumping at work problem. turns out, it wasn't a problem in the first place. bnsf is such a big place that no one knows when you're going to take a dump anyway. AND, it's a big bathroom with numerous stalls. that's a total plus. ha :)

today's subject: pooping at work

2007-06-18T12:55:00.000-06:00

now let me just say ... i have grown quite accustomed to the potty here at work.
i have no problem dropping bombs when needed.
in fact, i just dropped off a mini version of a chicken sandwich and waffle fries.
the best thing about working here for so long is that there is an understanding - an understanding of the time it may take to produce an awesome load. it's a kind of respect.

now that i'm moving and starting a new job, this is all of a sudden an issue that i have not had to deal with in quite some time. to be honest, i'm not sure how to handle it.

should i not poop at work?
should i hold it until i get home?
should i not eat all day so i don't have to hold it in and get an upset stomach?

although you may laugh, these are serious issues that i've been thinking about.
i don't want to be known as the "commode crooner" or the "potty princess" on the first day (or even week) of my new job.

this will be interesting...

ch-ch-ch-changes

2007-06-14T13:11:00.000-06:00

There are a lot of changes taking place at once. Usually I'm a skiddish about changes, but this just feels right. I figured while everything else was changing, I'd change my layout on here as well. I love cats. If you don't, you should. Ha!

I'm moving to Fort Worth! I still can't believe it! It's going to be great!
I'm happy to be going; but, at the same time, there are certain things that I don't want to leave.
#1 - family.
Being two hours away from them all is going to be rough for me.
#2 - Jill and MK gals.
They have opened their arms completely to me every since I started Mary Kay and have been SO nice to me! Just knowing that I have to find another group of people for weekly meetings makes me sad because I don't know if any of them will be as great as the women here!
#3 - current co-workers.
Quite a few of the people I work with now have grown into friendships. I thought that leaving would be much easier because of all the BS that I've grown tired of, but in reality, I've now seen the personal reactions to my "news" and they have been so sincere. Not only do I appreciate it, but it makes things so much easier on me while having to make these changes happen.

Aside from all this "serious" talk though, I'm damn funny.
I've known that for a while, but I just wanted to share it with you.
I make myself laugh. Very often.
Is that funny? Ha!

Although something was said about me today that I would have to completely agree with. The statement was that I am "wise beyond my years".
I don't know how it happened, but I'm damn smart too. I try to make good decisions, especially if something will affect me long-term. I think I do a good job too.

Ya know, the more I think about it, I want to (and should) write a book.
I've always had that crazy thought, but I really am considering it now. My problem is finding the time (quiet time to be exact) to sit down and write. I'm not sure what or who it would be about, but I love to write. Of course, you can't tell by my lack of writing in my blog. I'm hopeful that will change though. I'm going to try to update more often - maybe even daily (eek!) - once I move. We'll see how that goes....

Oh, and one last thing...I have a hole in my sock today.
Just thought you'd like to know.

until next time...........................

2007-05-31T11:09:00.000-06:00

i'm sleepy.
i thought that living at home was going to drive me crazy, but in reality, it's not all that bad.
what's even better is that i don't have rent due tomorrow.

but...last night i barely got any sleep and it's because of my little brothers' fire alarm.
granted, i'm glad he enjoys fire fighting and that he's a volunteer, but i'm going to have to talk with him about that dang alarm when i get home today.
it went off at 2 or 3 something - i'm not sure of the exact time because i was in a deep sleep - but i know it woke me up. so, i hear him jump out of bed, thrown on his clothes, and run out the door...slamming it behind him. he got back at 5am and took a shower because he was dirty.

let me explain: we have a joined bathroom, separated by a door to each of our rooms.

i heard everything. once he was finished and went back to bed, i fell back asleep. then ... his alarm went off AGAIN at 5:33am. UGH.
Wide awake. Again.

i restlessly tossed and turned and dozed off for a few minutes and then my alarm clock went off at 6am. i cursed it, turned it off and rolled (literally - rolled) out of bed.

i've got a long day ahead of me. after i get off of work at 5, i have to run home and eat something quickly and change clothes. i have a mary kay party tonight @ a friend's house (kristy). so hopefully i'll be energized for that. maybe the thought of dollar signs in my head will rev me up! ha :)

wish me luck :)

new things have happened

2007-05-21T16:38:00.000-06:00

Since the last time I wrote, over a month ago, some new things have happened.

1. I've graduated college.
2. I've had to move Graycee (my cat) out of my apt because my complex manager is a b-wad.
3. I've joined Mary Kay & am an Independent Beauty Consultant.

So, yes, it's official: I'm a college graduate. Although it's just an Associates Degree, I feel somewhat accomplished. I know that eventually I'll have to further my education and most likely get my Bachelors, but for now I'm on a break from school. Going to school continually for 16 years in a row can wear you out.

As far as Graycee goes, that baby girl is my heart and the jerk-head of a complex manager that I have tried to take her away from me. She said having a pet violated the apartment rules and I had to move Graycee out or get rid of her. Umm, not happening! Anyway, Graycee took a vacation and stayed with Chris for 2 weeks. She enjoyed it because of his dog, Jake. Now, she's staying with my mom and dad because I get to move home this weekend. I'm not extremely excited about living at home again after being on my own for 2 years, but I'm thankful that I have somewhere to go and that they're letting me stay there until I find a job and move to Fort Worth.

Now for Mary Kay....
After being a customer of Jill's for about 2 years or so, I decided that I could be successful in being a consultant! So, I did it. I paid the $100 for my starter kit about 3 weeks ago and have made it up to today's big debut. I'm having my FIRST "debut" party tonight @ 6pm at my work, in the conference room. In all honesty, I'm completely scared and worried. I invited 13 people, and I know so far that 3 people most likely won't make it. Now I'm just worried that more people will flake out at the last minute. It's expected in this business, and Jill tells me to just keep my head up, but at the same time I worry because I just want to be successful. It's not ALL about the money because I want to help people. I want to help girls feel more beautiful. I want to help them know that they're worth treating themselves well. At the same time though, it's partially about the compensation because I'm not paid enough at my job right now. I've been living in a reduced-rent apartment for the last 2 years and I don't think that I deserve to have to live that way anymore. I want to be able to have friends over and not be ashamed of my apartment. I want a dishwasher. I want a ceiling fan. I want to be able to buy a cute skirt or a great pair of high heels without having to worry about having enough money every now and then. Ugh - now I'm crying. I'm just kinda stressing out about tonight. I just want it to go well. The thing is, I don't even have to teach the class tonight. Jill's doing it all for me. This is like a "learner" class for me. I get to watch her and learn from her. I'm okay with rejection because I know they're not rejecting me - they're rejecting what I'm offering, which is fine. I just want people to be honest from the get-go. Don't tell me you're going to come to one of my parties and then flake out at the last minute or an hour before I'm expecting you. People know whether they want to do something or not. If they don't, they should just say no.
I've started thinking about that when I'm out and about, like at the malls. There's always those small kiosks in the halls of the mall where some weird guy or pushy lady will be trying to reel you in and get you to buy some sort of hand cream or new gadget. My first response before they can even get their full question out is, "No, thank you." I think that's because they come off as so overbearing and pushy though. I'm trying my best to be a friend before I have someone as a customer. I want to be someone that people come to because they like me and they don't feel that I'm just talking to them because I want them to buy something. Of course, I'd love for them to because not only would it help me, but it would also help them in the end. That's not my main goal though. I started Mary Kay because I wanted to make new girlfriends. I want to be able to go anywhere and know that I have a friend somewhere near, whether it's here at home or in Fort Worth. My business is something that I can take anywhere with me. I just pray that I'm successful.

wow. I feel better now. *exhale*

Peace, Love & Happiness ride 2007

2007-04-15T17:26:00.000-06:00

Just got back home from a great weekend! Chris & I went down to Austin to ride the bike in the Peace, Love & Happiness harley ride. I brought the camera along, so here are a few pictures. :)

******** ps - to view the pictures larger, just click on them.... ********

Saturday night before the ride

And then the ride was Sunday morning......

the coolest biker dog EVER!

she was really hardcore. ha :)

the view behind me

peace van that happened to be on the side of the road

two AWESOME pictures of the view AHEAD of us alllll the way up the hill. yes, those are ALL bikes!

my view. haha :)

random hill country

some cows

a windmill

an exotic horse or something??

animal iron statues

pic ahead of us

around the bend

peace! (neat pic, i think)

and another windmill. i guess i'm fascinated with them?

chris, being all bikerish...

we had a HUGE police escort. way cool.

hills and open sky

to grandmother's house we go... just kidding :)

a little river we passed

looking back

this guy in front of us had a biker weiner dog. he wore a leather harley vest, biker cap, and goggles. wish i would've got a pic!

random horses. apparently, one of them was happy to see me!! i didn't notice until i uploaded the pics to the computer. haha!!!

and here's the hippy van on the way back into austin.

we had a great time! hope you enjoyed the pics!! :)

nothing new

2007-04-02T12:30:00.000-06:00

I know, I haven't written in forever. Again. Big whoop.
Nothing new is going on really. The week days are always the same: work, homework, sleep. The weekends are a treat though. *wink*

I'm counting down days for two occasions: my birthday, and graduation.

Graduation is 40 days away!!
On the other hand, my birthday is in only......................

I can't wait to celebrate this weekend. Although it's a bummer that my birthday is on a Wednesday this year, I'm happy that I get to spend another joint-birthday with my papa!! :) German chocolate cake, here I come!!!!!

just a few pictures

2007-03-15T20:40:00.000-06:00

This is probably my favorite picture ever. I can't even begin to describe my love for my grandparents.

And here's a picture I took of Graycee when I got home tonight. She smiled for the camera. :)

This past weekend....

2007-03-06T09:26:00.000-06:00

Guess what! .................. I sold my car this weekend!!!
I had every intention of selling it, but I just didn't think it would go this fast!
Needless to say, I'm thrilled. I got CASH for it too! Whoop!
(which, led to this picture.....)

I know. I look like a G (hence the 'G' on the cap).

On a serious note though, I feel so humble. After selling my car, I realized that I really have nothing. I own nothing. I mean, I have things but nothing that I've ever really had to work for to get or own. There's only one way that I can explain it. I know that I have nothing, but at the same time I feel like I have everything. I have a great family and boyfriend who love me and money and material things could never make up for that.

PMS

2007-03-01T09:42:00.001-06:00

I have the most horrible, terrible, nasty, emotional PMS today. I've already cried three times this morning and it's only 8:30. I'm sure I'll cry again before finishing this post too. I don't know why it's so bad this month, but all I want to do is talk to Chris. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear me being all soppy either, but it makes me feel so much better just to talk to him. On days like this it's hard for me to even talk to someone without crying and though, hopefully it's not true, I feel like Chris doesn't want to be with me. I just need him to tell me that he loves me, even if it takes a hundred times for it to sink in. I'm not being sexist, but that's the thing about men - they really don't understand what it's like. I have no clue why I feel like this, and believe me - I hate it too! I can feel like a psycho and think about punching someone in the face all day, and then the next day I'm fine. There's really no explaining it. So, Chris and anyone else, I'm sorry if I bite your head off. I really don't mean to.

love,
kandis

password protection

2007-02-23T09:34:00.000-06:00

i'm looking into password protecting my entire blog, or at least just certain posts. there are some annoying people reading my blog that don't necessarily need to know all of my business. granted, i kinda just put it out there, but there are some times when i want to rant & rave about something and don't particularly want everyone to see it... and some people just suck :)
i don't know if they're infatuated with me, or want to be me, or what ... but it's getting kinda "stalkerish".

the end :)

ps - if you think i'm talking about you, i just might be.

picture post - valentine's

2007-02-22T08:33:00.000-06:00

I have a new favorite picture of Chris and I. When he had surprised me by coming to see me on Valentine's Day, I took a picture of us the next morning. Here they are .... (my favorite is the first one)

Also, today is mom's surgery. Say a little prayer for my mommy!!! I hope they get it over quick and she doesn't feel bad for long! I'm going to see her at lunch today.
I'll post about how she's doing later.

sean is back in texas!

2007-02-21T08:35:00.000-06:00

Okay...he may not be back "for good", but I'm so happy that I got to see him last night! He's home for a week to visit family and friends and I was lucky enough to get to spend the night with him! We ate some great mexican food and saw Tyler Perry's 'Daddy's Little Girl' (with Gabrielle Union).

ps - I'm still mad that Tyler Perry didn't even make an appearance in this movie. He is definitely a nice "chocolate daddy". hahaha :)

Here are two pics of us from last night! And, yes, Sean - they're on their way to you in an email!!

a happy valentine's day after all!

2007-02-15T09:22:00.000-06:00

I WAS WRONG!

I was ~~pleasantly surprised~~ (okay...) THRILLED when I got home last night. After I got out of class at 6, I drove home. When I got home, mom was supposed to be meeting me there and we were going to go get a pedicure (because Chris "wasn't" coming). Apparently it was a set-up! So, I when I get in the car, I call Chris and talk to him on the drive back to my apartment. I sit in the car a while, seeing that mom's car isn't here. Well, it was warm in the car and colllllld outside, so I figured I'd sit for a few minutes. Still on the phone with Chris, he finally says, "What if your dad dropped your mom off and she's waiting inside?" So I think about it .... look at the window, don't see any motion, and am like, "Well maybe....". Then, I get out of the car and walk to the front door. As I'm about to put my key in the door, it opens! IT WAS MY LOVEY!! I was so stinkin excited that I coulda pee'd my pants!!! I think I even screamed!!
Needless to say, he is the best boyfriend in the entire world and I'm the luckiest girl! He made my day! It was the best Valentine's Day yet!! I love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-14T11:11:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Although I won't get to see Chris today, he sent me some beautiful flowers. Lucky for him, he has the convenience of having family that lives here. I had to fed-ex my little surprise to him. I just hope that it's not messed up when it gets there! :)

new look

2007-02-13T20:07:00.001-06:00

i've found a new look for the site. i think i like it best :)

old friends and "growing up"

2007-02-06T11:56:00.000-06:00

it's like i'm on the outside, looking in sometimes.
it's hard to explain.

most of my friends aren't really close friends anymore. at least, not the friends that talk to each other everyday like we used to. chris says i'm just "at that age" where you've either grown up or you're still living with your parents. although there's nothing really wrong with the latter, most of my friends are still stuck in that stage. i know chris is right. it's like it's a curse of this town or something.
i'm upset about one girlfriend in particular, who has a boyfriend who continually cheats on her. i've told her more than once about things that i have noticed, but she won't believe it. i just don't understand. even though he's the one doing wrong, she doesn't realize that she looks like the idiot - not him. so, i've decided to let her just figure it out on her own. she can't say that i didn't try and tell her.

another friend has a 19-year-old boyfriend. he's the same age as my little brother. now, don't get me wrong, i haven't met him. so, i can't really judge. i'll admit though, that i haven't really made an attempt to hang out with them though. i just doubt that it would be worth my time because it would be like hanging out with someone who has the same maturity level and mentality as my brother. who knows, i could be wrong. she'd probably be pissed off if she read this too, but i'm not talking bad about him (or her, for that matter). i'm just talking myself through writing. forgive me.

another ~~friend~~ old friend: i sent her an email not too long ago as means of communication, because we don't talk anymore. i wrote simply to say that she looked happy. there are reasons we don't talk. mostly because i was a huge bitch to her and regret acting that way now. although i regret it, that doesn't mean that i want her friendship back. it would be nice, under one circumstance: if she were the person that she used to be. but, she's not. so i guess that's a lost cause and i've moved on.

then, there's work. that's a whole different subject for a whole different day. i could rant and rave about certain things for days, but maybe i'll go there later.

the whole thing is weird though. i feel like i'm 10 years older (mentally) than all of them. i don't know whether it's because they just act so young or because i really am that much more mature than them. i think being with chris has made me realize this even more. i knew that i had more responsibilities than my friends, but i didn't realize that it was to this extent. in no way though, am i complaining. i love my life. i love who i am, and i love who i'm still becoming.

this weekend / donkeys

2007-02-05T20:14:00.000-06:00

chris and i did some random things this weekend.

even more random, i made new friends! :)
they live on the ranch where chris lives.
here are some pictures of them.

as you can see, the brown/white one was a lot more social and curious. they were too cute!

christian ways to reduce stress

2007-02-01T09:09:00.000-06:00

I read this today and really think that I need to do all of them....

CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

2007-01-16T19:48:00.001-06:00

i wrote a pissed off post today, but had to delete it. ugh.

anyway ... the sleety/snowy weather today inspired me to take some picture. i usually don't see things like this around here, so it was fun to see something different. so, i bundled up and here are some pics i took close to my apartment after work today.

and my personal favorite....

when i got home from taking pictures, which was only about 15 minutes ... graycee wanted to play! i wanted to take pictures of her, but she wasn't having it. so, she was trying to attack the camera.

here, graycee's trying to be seductive by licking her lips ....

and now for the demon cat shot ....

2007-01-11T14:07:00.000-06:00

I found the following article today online, and became relieved that I'm not the only person who has to live this way. When I say I'm broke, most people just laugh and say, "No, you're not! Don't be silly." or something of that sort. The thing is, every bit of this article might not be as extreme as my budget problems, but many of the things are true. I guess it's the life of a college student who lives on reduced-income rent, no matter what age you are.

Surviving (and thriving) on $12,000 a year
By Donna Freedman
I'll be living on just over $1,000 a month this year. That doesn't sound like much -- and it isn't -- yet I plan not just to live on it, but to build a savings account.
My 2007 "income," the money I can actually count on, will be $12,084. I know this because it consists of alimony and a portion of a school grant. (I went back to college last year; the grant covers tuition and books with a little left over.) I already know my big-ticket annual costs, too: rent of $6,300 and $1,200 for car insurance. Subtract these from my income and I'm left with $382 a month for food, utilities, clothes, medical deductibles and co-pays, gasoline, renter's and life insurance and any help I give my daughter, who lives on even less than I do.
Make no mistake: I'm poor by choice, because I needed to change my life. I chose to leave my marriage, and I chose to become a student. I can live this way because I know it won't be forever. I'll have my degree in two more years, and I'll go back to work.
I survive on economies large and small. I bring my laundry to baby-sitting jobs (yes, I ask permission). I brown-bag my lunch every single day. I combine coupons and rebates to get items for free (I haven't paid for toothpaste, shampoo or other toiletries for years). I drink water, not soda.
But in order to thrive, you have to hustle, too, always looking for ways to save a dime or to make one. I exchange spent ink cartridges for reams of printer paper at Office Max. Whenever I see a candy dish, I put a piece in my coat pocket; if my energy flags midday, those toffees and peppermints keep me from buying snacks. After I won a basket of specialty coffees at a college event, I immediately sold it on Craigslist.org; I sold a "free after rebate" phone that way, too.
If you've never been really broke, all these desperate little economies might seem silly. You're probably thinking, "Why not have a soda? It's only a dollar." Because I've got just 382 of those dollars each month, that's why, and those dollars have other places to go. The COBRA insurance runs out in May and I'll need to get student insurance, at $389 per quarter. The car needs a 60,000-mile checkup. My share of a dental crown is going to be $486; I will ask for a discount if I pay in cash.
Jill of all trades
Last year I survived on a number of here-and-there gigs: freelance writing, work-study, baby-sitting, mystery shopping, resident manager (read: janitor and handyma'am) of my apartment building, paid medical research and writing for the community-college newspaper. (I was the oldest living cub reporter.)
There was little downtime; when I wasn't working I was studying, doing homework or writing papers. And I was perpetually weary and frequently ill all year long. Fact of life: A 48-year-old college student simply doesn't have the energy of an 18-year-old college student.
This year I'm dumping most of the part-time gigs. I'll still freelance and baby-sit, but very selectively. My new school means tough classes, a long bus commute and lots of reading and studying. More to the point, it's a great opportunity, and I'd like to take full advantage. So I'm choosing to work less in 2007, focusing instead on getting healthy and getting my education.
That means careful money management and a fair amount of sacrifice. I'm willing to do both. As a freelance writer and recent divorcee, I'm accustomed to lean living. Here are some of the mantras that have kept me going thus far:
It's not what I have, but how much of it I can keep. To paraphrase Ben Franklin, every dollar I don't spend is a dollar I have earned. So when I think I need something, I ask, "Can I do without this?" Often I find I can. If I can't, then my next question is . . .
How can I get it free, or almost free? The obvious answers are sites like Craigslist.org and thrift shops, especially ones like Value Village that offer coupons and half-off sales. My 99-cent clock-radio wakes me up every morning just as efficiently as a high-tech alarm from The Sharper Image. Rummage sales are swell, too; my church has an annual sale called "Superfluity" (I love that name) at which I bought my desk for $4 and a small chest of drawers for $1. I also buy Christmas and birthday gifts at Superfluity and an annual "500-family" rummage sale. No one has to know that that hardback bestseller under the tree cost you only 50 cents.
Enough is as good as a feast. I love to eat. I don't love paying for it. Because I don't have a "regular" job of at least 20 hours a week, I don't qualify for food stamps. So I shop very, very carefully, and I go to the food bank. Most weeks I can count on potatoes, apples, bread and a can or two of vegetables. Some lucky weeks I get milk, orange juice, pasta, tomatoes, rice or a small package of meat. I cook a lot of beans and stews, and I'm adequately fed -- maybe not as richly or as conveniently as I'd like, but well enough to keep me going.
Every day is casual Friday! When my jeans are in tatters I buy a "new" pair at Value Village (one pair cost me just $1.63, and it was new -- still had the department-store tags on it). I spend $15 or less on running shoes from clearance tables. I've bought a couple of thrift-store tops, but mostly get by with shirts I've had for ages. (Hint: The clothes dryer takes years off the life of your duds. Get a drying rack.) Some days I wish I looked nicer. Most days it doesn't bother me, and I doubt it'll bother anyone else, since students at my school have been known to wear flannel PJs to class. Bonus: When you dress the way I do, panhandlers hardly ever ask you for money.
Announce my intentions. Time and again I have found that when I need something I should "put it out in the universe," which is also known as "prayer." One night last fall, squinting over my homework, I realized I needed more light in the apartment. A day later, a halogen floor lamp landed in the Dumpster outside my window. Recently my umbrella got cranky about opening. The next week I was given a high-quality bumbershoot as a thank-you gift for helping with a campus blood drive. Coincidences? Maybe.
$20 to feel rich
I've decided to increase my monthly church tithe to $20. Sure, I could use that extra $240 a year. It just about equals the university registration fee, or the money I promised my daughter toward the price of her wedding dress. It also represents almost half of the car insurance premium heading my way in April.
But giving that money away makes me feel rich. No matter how straitened my circumstances, I can be a part of services the church provides for the homeless, the impoverished elderly and those living with AIDS. In other words, tithing reminds me that there are lots of people worse off than me, people who'd love to have my so-called "problems."
That's not to say that I wouldn't like to have more cash. It would allow me to help my daughter, to secure my future, to buy more roasts and fewer pinto beans. But I figure I won the cosmic lottery just by being born in America, a country where I can not only work on a college degree at age 48, but also find scholarships and education grants to help me pay for it. I have a roof over my head, food every day, family and friends, and occasionally even a $10 student ticket to the Seattle Symphony. Some days I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
If I really am lucky, then I'll make it through 2007 with a positive bank balance. Check back with me next December and I'll let you know how I did.

Although I don't rely on alimony and a student grant/loan to make my money throughout the year, I actually do survive on $12k a year. It's hard sometimes, but even more belittling when you get laughed at when you mention the word 'raise'. I drink water instead of sodas. Luckily I have my car paid off. I also take back used printer ink cartridges and get $3.00 back for each one. So, when you think you've got it bad ... think about exactly where you spend your money and about how much harder it really could be.

2007-01-10T15:00:00.000-06:00

It's not like I don't have anything to do, but I'm SO bored today!!
I think it may have something to do with being frustrated with work (I'll go there in a minute) and having only talked to Chris once today. We usually would have talked 4 or 5 times by now. I guess he's busy today? I love calling him, but I hate to interrupt when I know something important is going on. I'd like to not drive him crazy too soon. ha :)

Now - about work ... It's not necessarily "work" that I'm frustrated about. It's the way some people take advantage and abuse privileges that we have aka LUNCH. It's not right to take a two and a half hour lunch whether your boss is here or not. In this case, the boss was gone for a day. So, while the cat's away...the mouse will play. IT'S JUST SOOOO AGGRAVATING!! ugh!

Off subject though, I'm growing into my Dooney (that I got for xmas from Chris) quite well. I've loved it from the start, but hated that he spent that much money on me. It's a great purse though! I would've never bought myself something like that, so I'm glad that he got it for me!
I'm kinda tired of this blogger layout too. I swear, I change blogger and myspace layouts as much as I change my underwear. Well, maybe not ... but close.
I'm going to work on finding a new one right now...

2007-01-03T13:20:00.000-06:00

i'm officially out of my mood from yesterday. this is a good thing.

my brain is killing me though because i've been working on that website that i'm designing, and i'm stuck on a certain spot. so, i ate some lunch and hopefully now i'll be able to figure it out.

i would really like to write more often. i mean, i always have plenty to say...and always think of things to write about, but i never write them down and i end up forgetting what i had thought about.

so, all i've got are my new years' resolutions:

1. Control road rage
2. Put myself and loved ones before everyone else
3. Go to church!

2006-12-07T13:33:00.000-06:00

i think i'm developing OCD.
all i can think about is chris, rings, and weddings.
chris, now don't jump to conclusions. i'm not trying to scare you off.

it's just hard to believe that i've found someone who makes me feel as wonderful as i do, and that he has been waiting for me all along. all of the other girls or guys that we have ever dated have just taught us how to better appreciate and love each other, and i'm so thankful that we figured out that there was something better for each of us ... and it's each other.

i never imagined that it would have been chris, but i'm so glad it is. i couldn't see it any other way. he's known me all my life, and i know now that he was in it for a reason.

i love you shoogers!!!

ps - i've officially started making my "reasons why i love chris" list. :)

2006-11-28T12:08:00.000-06:00

i haven't written in a while simply because i have a ton of other things going on. then, by the time i get home and can write about what's going on - i don't want to.

sidenote:
my car is a piece of shitty shit. :(
i hate it.
i want a new one.
riiiiight..........

christmas wishlist

2006-11-16T19:11:00.000-06:00

To make it easier on all of my lovelys out there ... I've put together a "Chrismas Wishlist" to make Christmas shopping easier on you. I'm getting it out early, so there isn't anyone left wondering what I might like...

I know..I know....you can stop singing praises!! You're welcome! :)

1. something shiny... - in a size 7.5 :) (*cough cough* chris.... *wink wink*)

2. something cute... - ok, this one can wait. it was just too cute to pass up!

3. something sexy...

4.something bubbly...

5. this dress, in purple"ish" color...

6. something snowy... - preferably a trip :)

7. a hot new year's eve date...

I might add more later, but I think that's far more than enough. Feel free to get creative :)

p.s. - items are in order to importance.
love, kandis :)

playlist

2006-11-15T09:17:00.000-06:00

i added a music playlist on the left-hand column. it has some of my favorite songs. i'm still adding though.
enjoy!

domestic diva

2006-11-13T19:31:00.000-06:00

mom, if you're reading this ..... sit down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i not only went to the gym after work, but i also am doing laundry and cooked dinner (shrimp and rice) when i got home.

here's the kicker:
i washed the dishes right after i was finished eating!

i know ... i know. i am officially a domestic diva.

random questions

2006-11-10T09:24:00.000-06:00

Here are some random questions::

001: Real Name - Kandis
002. Nickname - kandi barr, kan, punky (love, dad)
003. Zodiac Sign - Aries
004. Male or Female - Female
005. Elementary School - Troy
006. Favorite Color- Pink
007. How many buddies on your aim list - umm...lots
008. Screenname - kandismichelle - (ps. i never get on there anymore)
009. Hair Color - brown
010. Hair Long or Short - shoulder length
011. Eye Color - Hazel
012. Are you health freak- not like i should be
013. Height - 5'2"

---DO YOU...?---

014. Do you have a crush on someone? - yep - my lovey, chris :)
015. Do you like yourself? - yeah. i feel complete now.
016. Do you think you're awesome? - well duh :)
017. Do you have piercings? - 3 in my ear, cartilage, and belly button. i've wanted my nose pierced for the last few years, but i know it won't go over well when i'm looking for a job after i graduate.
018. Do you write righty or lefty? - Righty

---Your 'Firsts'---

019. Surgery - tumor on my leg in 3rd grade
020. First piercing - ears when i was little. thanks mom :)
021. First best friend - I guess my first best friend was Rebecca Fox in elementary school. We were inseparable. We were with each other constantly and always ate pretzels at my house when we watched tv at night.
022. First Award - I won a baby beauty pageant. :)
023. First Sport You Joined - tee-ball
024. First pet - a fat persian cat, named Jasper. Crazy cat! It would run toward me and jump off of my head.
025. First vacation - I'm not sure if it was my first, but the first that I know of was to see the big statue of Jesus and to Dollywood. :)
026. First Concert - Garth Brooks!!!!
027. First love - Michael Schneider

---Currently---

028. Eating - nothing
029. I'm drinking - H20
030. I'm about to - to get the mail for work
031. Listening to - the phones ring
032. Waiting For - 5 o'clock so I can leave for Ft. Worth to see Chris!
033. Wearing - jeans, and a camo shirt! it's Friday!

---Your Future---

034. Want Kids? - eventually
035. Want to Get Married? - yes *blushing*
036. Careers in Mind - winning the lottery and not having to work. ha. i wish!

---Which is better with the opposite sex?---

037. Lips or Eyes?- umm....both :)
038. Hugs or Kisses - both, at the same time, please :)
039. Shorter or Taller - taller

040. Romantic, Spontaneous - BOTH!
041. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms - arms :)
042. Sensitive or Loud - Sensitive :)
043. Hook-up or Relationship - Umm, duh - relationship! Don't get any ideas!

---Have you ever?---

044. Kissed a Stranger - no one is a stranger to me! ok, bad answer!
045. Drank bubbles - nope...unless you're talkin about bubbles in champagne.
046. Lost glasses/contacts - lost sunglasses at the lake before :(
047. Ran Away From home - Nope
048. Broken any bones - My foot in 3 places. Ouch!
049. Broken Someone's Heart - not that i know of
050. Been Arrested - no way!
051. Turned Someone Down - um yes
052. Cried When Someone Died - omg yes. how could you not?
053. Cried at school - maybe when i was little

---Do You Believe In?---

054. Yourself - of course
055. Miracles - every now and then
056. Love at first sight - Mmm...Yes!!
057. Magic - Not really, but the "Magical Grandpa" at Applebee's on Thursday nights is changing my mind about that. He's awesome! :)
058. Heaven - With all my heart
059. Santa Clause - I did until I was like 15 or 16. I know, I'm a dork.
060. Sex on the first date - um. no?
061. Kissing on the First Date - Mmm..kisses from chris :)
062. Angels - yeah!

---Last Question---

063. Is there somewhere else you'd rather be right now? - yep, ft. worth.

i can vote!

2006-11-07T16:23:00.000-06:00

i registered to vote today! yay!
now i can fulfill my role as a texas (and US) citizen and make my choice!
the downfall:
today is election day.

good job on waiting, jackass.

on a better note - britney filed for divorce today.
i'm not one to promote divorce in any shape or fashion, but homegirl needed a swift kick in the ass for this marriage.

maybe we can have this britney back soon!!

blogskins.com

2006-11-03T11:42:00.000-06:00

I'm totally in love with this new layout, and hopefully it'll get me to write more often. I've kinda fallen off the blogging bandwagon for a while. I found an AWESOME site that has thousands of blogger templates. There are some amazing ones on there. I actually got mine from the site, blogskins.com.

Anyway - yay for hunting season!! (yes, I'm being a little sarcastic.) It's not even noon yet and most of the guys in the office are making their way outta here. Must be nice! We've adopted all of the following fridays as "Camo Friday" until the hunting season is over. So, to celebrate, i of course donned a camo t-shirt. I took a pic, but my damn phone wouldn't send it via email for whatever reason. Maybe i'll post it later....

And here's another reason I love Chris :)
His comment on something as simple as my blogger layout ....

chris said...

I love it, just like you

new look

2006-11-02T20:32:00.000-06:00

tell me how much you love my new look. NOW! :)

last night was Halloween...

2006-11-01T11:02:00.000-06:00

I hadn't really made big plans for last night, being that it was Halloween; but I still had fun. After I got off of work I went to see my grandparents, which was really nice. I didn't realize how much I miss them when I don't see them that often. I take advantage of them being there and I know that I won't be able to do that for long. It was good to spend time with them!
After I visited with them for a while, I went over to Deidre's house and was surprised to find out that her little sister had a group of friends coming over. Last night made me remember how fun it was to be fourteen and fifteen again. The guys were completely immature and absurd little horndogs, but it was hysterical. One of them insisted on dressing up as a drag queen, and the sad thing is, his legs and ass looked better than mine. I guess the sag comes with age though. It's something you have to "earn"! The girls were a riot as well. They thought that I was the coolest 21-year-old they had ever met and they all wanted Deidre and I to do their make-up. I love doing other people's make-up, so of course, I was thrilled! My favorite was doing Marilyn Monroe's make-up - beauty mark and all! I wish I had a picture of the finished product because she looked gorgeous!

Anyhow - we ventured door-to-door and let them fill up on candy as Dee and I filled up on beers. It was lots of fun!! I got to feel like a kid again and it was great!

iPod shuffle

2006-10-24T14:21:00.000-06:00

iPod shuffle

How it works: These are pre-made questions and you use your iPod (on shuffle) to get answers.

How does the world see you?
we're young and beautiful - carrie underwood

Will I have a happy life?
loose, loud & crazy - kevin fowler

What do people really think of me?
It's All Understood - jack johnson

Do I have any admirers?
she knows what to do with a saturday night - billy currington

How can I make myself happy?
take me out to a dancehall - pat green

What should I do with my life?
don't forget to remember me - carrie underwood

Will I get (or stay) married?
on again tonight - trent willmon

What is some good advice for me?
goodbye my lover - james blunt

How will I be remembered?
crazy bitch - buck cherry

What is my signature dancing song?
songs about texas - pat green

What do I think my current theme song is?
one more round - cory morrow

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
big shot rich man - jason boland

What song will play at my funeral?
the news - jack johnson

What type of men/women do I like?
breakfast after 10 - blue october

what do you think of your ex?
walk away - kelly clarkson

What is my day going to be like?
what if we could - blue october

it's nearly 2pm...

2006-10-04T12:54:00.000-06:00

it's nearly 2pm...

...and I just now realized that I have my panties on inside-out.

at least i have some on, right???

2006-09-27T10:27:00.002-06:00

I don't know if it's the techy nerd in me or if my interests are just changing, but lately I've been addicted to odd things. First and foremost, the Food Network.

Unlike mom, I despise watching Martha Stewart. She just irks me to no end. (That's besides the point though.) I like most all of the shows that come on Food Network, but I can't seem to get enough of "Everday Italian" with Giada de Laurentiis!! I can't decide if I'm addicted to it because I'm on a diet and I'd like to eat everything she makes, or if it's because she's just so darn pretty!

I'd like to know how resists eating the food she makes on TV too because it all looks so delicious!
At first I didn't much care for Rachel Ray, but she's grown on me a little. Yes - a little.

On the other hand - I called myself a dork this morning when I went to get the mail for work. After blatantly bombing a test in class, I found a "Photoshop Seminar" phamplet in our mail. Having just downloaded Adobe Photoshop (illegal, yes, i know), it seemed appealing to me. I just might have to go to the seminar. It's in downtown Austin sometime in November. The only downfall is that it costs $200, and there's practically no way that I could get work to pay for it. Seeing that I haven't "completed" my education - it wouldn't count as 'continuing education'. Bummer, I know.

This morning I also realized that my iPod is completely full*. Today is a sad day.

Disclaimer:
*Disregard the fact that I got a 2gb and I'm a music junkie.

FINALLY!!!

2006-09-25T19:53:00.000-06:00

i've FINALLY got the comments working how i wanted them to work, and the layout right.
for whatever reason though - i have to post pictures on a separate post if i'm typing with them. if there's a pic, it won't show the font. weird, i know.

anyway - i'll be keeping this more up-to-date now :)

josh blue - pt 1

2006-09-20T07:35:00.000-06:00

Wow! Last night was great!!!
Mom, Dad & I went to Austin to see JOSH BLUE at the cap city comedy club!!!

We went to eat at the Cheesecake Factory in the arboretum, after getting "lost" on my directions, at least that's what mom & dad said. (I beg to differ.) We only had to stop and ask for directions twice. You're not lost until you have to stop a third time. That's not the point though. haha :)

After dinner, we saw Josh. He is SOOOO damn funny! I'd definitely pay to see him again!! We laughed from the moment he walked on stage, and still laughed about him this morning when mom & I talked on the phone! We didn't get home until around 1:30 or 2am, but it was well worth it.

I'm a dummy though. I grabbed the camera before I left the house, but forgot batteries. So - I had a camera....that didn't work! Thank God for camera phones though. After the show, mom and I got to take pictures with Josh Blue. They're not the best because they're taken with the phone, but here they are!!

josh blue

2006-09-20T07:34:00.000-06:00

2006-09-18T20:23:00.000-06:00

For as smart as 'Dell' claims to be, they must employ the most stupid people in the world. Today I was on the phone with them for over 20 minutes because the sandnigger that was "helping" me (if you want to call it that) has done exactly the opposite of what I asked him to do. He asked me the same questions at least 5 times, and it was all I could do to not scream at the idiot!!

On the other hand, my iPod must know what I'm wanting to hear today. It's playing a lot of great songs. Props to the iPod.

I've been a busy bee tonight though! When I got off of work, I went to wal-mart to get some fresh groceries for my diet. When I got home I washed my dishes, and then sweeped the whole apartment............. then I mopped! *gasp!* (I hardly ever mop.) Go me! THEN I cleaned the toilet and the rest of the bathroom! I just finished my homework for the night and am about to go to bed!

I gotta get some rest for tomorrow! Mom's birthday is this Saturday, but we're having her "surprise" tomorrow night!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!! Pictures to come!!

night :)

2006-09-13T09:29:00.000-06:00

I've become accustomed to falling into the same daily routine.

i hit snooze on the alarm (2 times actually).
i wake up.
i take a shower/get ready.
i go to school.
then go to work.
get off work.
maybe go to the gym.
come home.
love on graycee.
maybe study.
go to sleep.

It may sound boring, but I happen to really like it. It used to bother the hell out of me because it felt like I didn't have anything to "do" (as far as "going out"), but now it just seems to fit. Part of me wants to believe that it used to bother me so much because I wasn't complete. Either the guy in my life (or the friends I was surrounded by) weren't fullfilling the needs I had, but now I've got all of what I was looking for in just one person. I can't begin to explain how amazing that feels. I finally am content. I like not looking for more. To have someone that cares for you and wants to be your friend just blows my mind.
Of course, I've always had a best friend, my mom; but, because of the nuisances I was surrounded by (see: previous post) I couldn't be as close to her as I am now. I'm happy in every definition of the word now though. Well....with minor exceptions (haha) - aka work, and things of the sort.
I feel as though I can enjoy things more openly now and also share them with someone. I can wear my boring "granny" panties and he still loves me. Maybe I'll come up with a list of "Reasons I love him" soon. I'll work on that .... :)

ex's

2006-09-11T11:41:00.000-06:00

i'm aggravated at ex boyfriends.

exhibit a: ~~cody~~.

he called this past weekend to invite "us" to hang out at a concert/bar. yes, the general invitation is nice, but we're not together. i don't have a reason to hang out with him especially if i'm with my boyfriend. that's just weird to me.

exhibit b: ~~brian~~.

ugh. thank you sweet baby jesus for getting that out of my life. it was okay while it lasted, but i'm so glad that i pulled the wool off my eyes and that i now realize what a fuck up he was. he's a different kinda person in his own right. apparently he doesn't care a single bit that we had ever broken up because he had other girls the whole time. damn, that makes me feel stupid. i think he needs medication. seriously. i'll stop there. maybe i'll elaborate more later when i have time to waste on the useless subject. ha!

all in all ..... i'm so thankful for ex's because i wouldn't have found chris.

2006-09-07T21:34:00.000-06:00

I don't know if it's dorky or completely depressing that I'm excited about the price of gas being under $2.50 a gallon. That's pretty much ... well, pathetic. There should be more exciting things!

Then again, I did get out of class early tonight! In the words of Madea, "Hallelujerrr!" Luckily, our professor has decided to to only lecture 2 hours and let the other 2 hours be "lab hours". I guess that's nice for the students that need help with the work, but in my situation, that means I get to get finished with homework and get out of there!

I'm kinda out of it though ... again. I don't think anyone even reads this yet though. Ah well.

TGIF beeyotch (well..it's close!)

first post - pt 1

2006-09-06T21:32:00.000-06:00

Alright...I've finally got this thing up and running. It's not exactly the layout that I wanted, but I made it work and it's cute enough ... I guess.

I'm about pooped though and ready for bed. I have a LONG day tomorrow (which includes a 4-hour night class) - - - yipee!!

I went out to mom and dad's house tonight though and saw quite a few animals. I took pictures of mom's new pet crow (Joe), a cow, a rabbit, and then a baby mouse! One of the neighbor's cats had brought it up to the house! It was so cute that I wanted to take it home!

Anyway - I'm headed to bed. I'll leave you with these......

Here's a pic of Joe the crow and the baby mousey!

first post

2006-09-06T21:31:00.000-06:00